Hey, a head coach got canned. Let’s party. Here’s the latest rankings . . .
#32 Buffalo Bills (2-6-0, -113, LW: 31)
#31 Arizona Cardinals (2-6-0, -89, LW: 32)
#30 San Francisco 49ers (1-7-0, -63, LW: 25)
#29 Oakland Raiders (1-6-0, -80, LW: 27)
#28 New York Giants (1-7-0, -55, LW: 30)
#27 Jacksonville Jaguars (3-5-0, -36, LW: 20)
#26 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-4-0, -32, LW: 26)
Hey Tony Dungy, would you mind lending a hand? The Bucs have allowed 33.3 points per game (worst in the league) and 51.1 completions and rushes per game (27th). They are dead last in defensive DVOA and dead last in pass defense DVOA. Give me the days of Warren Sapp and Derrick Brooks.
#25 Cleveland Browns (2-5-1, -41, LW: 23)
#24 Tennessee Titans (3-4-0, -21, LW: 28)
#23 Miami Dolphins (4-4-0, -45, LW: 21)
#22 Detroit Lions (3-4-0, -15, LW: 18)
#21 Atlanta Falcons (3-4-0, -22, LW: 22)
#20 Denver Broncos (3-5-0, -6, LW: 24)
Eight touchdowns. Nine interceptions. They average over five yards per attempt, yet they have 272 drop backs and 171 rushing attempts. I get that the game is about the passing game, but at some point you have to be creative. Though I do have to say, congratulations to Case Keenum for suckering a team into a great contract because the league foolishly overrates quarterbacks and their value. It’s always great to have a $15 million cap hit for one player. And I’m the idiot who questions this stuff.
#19 New York Jets (3-5-0, -8, LW: 15)
#18 Cincinnati Bengals (5-3-0, -16, LW: 19)
#17 Dallas Cowboys (3-4-0, +17, LW: 16)
#16 Green Bay Packers (3-3-1, +2, LW: 13)
#15 Indianapolis Colts (3-5-0, +18, LW: 29)
#14 Philadelphia Eagles (4-4-0, +22, LW: 7)
Last season the Eagles were fourth in the league with a +11 turnover margin. This season they are tied for 27th with a -4 margin. Also, they were one of the best in the league at third down conversions in the red zone at 31%. This season they are at 19%, near the bottom. Third down plays in the red zone can be called four point plays. Basically if you get them you’re going for touchdowns, if you don’t you’re kicking field goals. And field goals don’t win you as many games as touchdowns do.
#13 Minnesota Vikings (4-3-1, +2, LW: 11)
#12 Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2-1, +32, LW: 14)
#11 Houston Texans (5-3-0, +30, LW: 17)
#10 Baltimore Ravens (4-4-0, +60, LW: 1)
#9 Washington Redskins (5-2-0, +12, LW: 10)
#8 Los Angeles Chargers (5-2-0, +32, LW: 5)
#7 Carolina Panthers (5-2-0, +26, LW: 8)
#6 Seattle Seahawks (4-3-0, +40, LW: 12)
#5 New England Patriots (6-2-0, +54, LW: 6)
Fun fact: The Patriots racked up 618 yards of offense in Super Bowl LII and still lost. Why? Because their defense flat out blows. The linebackers are slow, the pass rush is minimal, but when you have Bill Belichick calling the game, you find ways to win regardless of what personnel he has. Hell, tonight they needed a couple of gifts just to beat the lowly Bills. And people want to convince me this league is worth watching.
#4 Chicago Bears (4-3-0, +50, LW: 4)
#3 New Orleans Saints (6-1-0, +51, LW: 3)
#2 Kansas City Chiefs (7-1-0, +85, LW: 9)
#1 Los Angeles Rams (8-0-0, +109, LW: 2)
OK, so the biggest joke in the Joke of a League fired their head coach and their offensive coordinator after 40 and eight games respectively. The laughs just get louder. But nothing will change. Why should it? Fans still buy tickets and still tune in. They’re too stupid to know any better.
Hue Jackson is the third longest tenured coach in the franchise’s history*. Romeo Crennell lasted four full seasons before getting the axe. Butch got to 60 games (including the team’s lone playoff game) before high anxiety got the better of him. Hue got 40 games to take the bronze.
*-Don’t give me the B.S. that the J.O.L. will give me because I know for a fact that the Browns moved after the 1995 season and an expansion team was put here in 1999. This is a different team, different franchise.
John Dorsey most likely won’t be around long, either. This was clearly a power struggle and when the payroll doesn’t come from your bank account you will lose. So the team will as Haslam said, “reboot”. Again.
And I have zero sympathy for Browns fans. They have gotten exactly everything they have asked for. Idiots will continue to tune in every week expecting a different result, just like they have since 1999. This is not insanity – it’s flat out stupidity. They treat days like this as a holiday as if firings are a good thing.
But continue to tune in. It’s worked wonders so far.